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Just a joke

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Bob View Drop Down
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  Quote Bob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Just a joke
    Posted: 14 Mar 2012 at 8:19am
To answer Randy's question of "where from" - A forwarded email from an anonymous source.
 
And since the mood of this has changed from supposedly lighthearted to the dark reality the Poles lost over 16% in WWII according to the chart.
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  Quote Don Watkins Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Mar 2012 at 8:28am

Yeah, sorry about that. Just something I had been thinking about lately.

Man, I can't imagine 16%.

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  Quote Randy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 15 Mar 2012 at 9:29am
The Soviet Union lost 13.9% of their 168 million population.  That was a slaughter.
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  Quote Bob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Apr 2012 at 2:58pm

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to > do one entitled: "Survivor, Texas-Style!"

 

The 8 contestants will all start in Dallas , then drive to Waco , > Austin , San Antonio .

Then over to Houston and down to Brownsville .

They will proceed up to Del Rio , El Paso , Odessa , Midland , > Lubbock , and Amarillo .

From there they will go on to Abilene and Fort Worth .

Finally back to Dallas .

 

Each will be driving a pink Prius with bumper stickers that reads:

 

1 "I'm a Democrat"

2 "Amnesty for Illegals"

3 "I love the Dixie Chicks"

4 "Boycott Beef"

5 "I Voted for Obama"

6 "George Strait Sucks"

7 "Reelect Obama in 2012"

and...

8 "I'm here to confiscate your guns"

 

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins.

God Bless Texas !

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  Quote Karl_db Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Apr 2012 at 3:16pm
HeeHee  Sounds like probably the first survivor show without any survivors. 
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  Quote Don Watkins Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2012 at 5:02pm

From my email:


This has got to be one of the cleverest
E-mails I've received in awhile.
Someone out there
must be "deadly" at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one!

It's gonna be hard to top because

it fits to a "T"

PRESBYTERIAN
:
When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER


ASTRONOMER
:
When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER


DESPERATION
:

When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT


THE EYES
:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE


GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE


THE MORSE CODE
:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS



DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME


ANIMOSITY
:
When you rearrange the letters:

IS NO AMITY


ELECTION RESULTS
:
When you rearrange the letters:

LIES - LET'S RECOUNT


SNOOZE ALARMS
:
When you rearrange the letters:

ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S


A DECIMAL POINT
:
When you rearrange the letters:

I'M A DOT IN PLACE


THE EARTHQUAKES
:
When you rearrange the letters:

THAT QUEER SHAKE


ELEVEN PLUS TWO
:
When you rearrange the letters:

TWELVE PLUS ONE


MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:

WOMAN HITLER

AND FINALLY.

FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

When you rearrange the letters:

STRUGGLING INCOMPETENT LIAR

Bet your friends haven't seen this one!!!
 
 

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  Quote Karl_db Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2012 at 8:43pm
HeeHee I'd like to send that to a close relative...but probably better not.
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  Quote Randy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19 Apr 2012 at 8:49pm
Two grand ones!  Clap
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  Quote Bob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2012 at 6:46pm

Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President someday.

Both of her parents, far left liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "Well, if you were President what would be the first thing you would do?" She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed with pride!

"Wow...what a worthy goal!" I said. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!" I told her.

"What do you mean?" she replied.

So I told her, "You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her parents still aren't speaking to me

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  Quote Don Watkins Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2012 at 6:52pm
Evil! But perfect.
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  Quote Karl_db Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2012 at 8:08pm
Thumbs Up
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  Quote Randy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 May 2012 at 9:43pm
That's when most liberal college kids turn, after they get a job and start paying taxes.

That joke reminds me of this liberal Dem SNL comedian who got hacked at being attacked by Obama:
Democrat comic scorches Obama again
(The text in the write up tells the story.  The video of him getting mad at Obama is pretty crude, but the video of his co-host singing a song about Obama is pretty funny.)

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  Quote Karl_db Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 May 2012 at 2:59am
One apparent liberal named Peg said to Lovitz, “This is red meat for conservatives who are trying to prove the whole country hates him, you gave them ammo, they’re using it.”
  Another common trait I've noticed amongst the enlightened.....shhhhhhhh.  Solidarity.  Don't talk about it.  
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  Quote Bob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jun 2012 at 10:33am
Old proverb revised:
Original proverb:
“Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish… and you feed him for a lifetime.”
Latest Proverb:
“Give a man a welfare check, a cell phone, cash for his clunker, food stamps, section 8 housing, Medicaid, 100 weeks of unemployment checks, a 40-ounce malt liquor, needles, drugs, contraceptives, and designer Air Jordan shoes… and he will vote Democrat for a lifetime.”
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  Quote Randy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jun 2012 at 10:57am
The Dems sure live by the latest proverb, but none of those people seem to be in their neighborhood.
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  Quote Karl_db Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Jun 2012 at 4:43pm
I think I much prefer the original proverb.  The second is much too real. 
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
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  Quote Karl_db Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jun 2012 at 8:13am
A group of 15 year old boys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at the McDonald's next to Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because they only had six dollars among them, they could ride their bikes there and Jennie Webster, that cute girl in Social Studies, lives on the same street and they might see her.
Ten years later, the group of now 25 year old guys discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the beer was cheap, the bar had free snacks, the house band was good, there was no cover charge and there were lot of cute girls.
Ten years later, at 35 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was decided they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the booze was good, it was near their gym and, if they went late enough, there wouldn't be too many whiny little kids.
Ten years later, at 45, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the martinis were big and the waitresses wore tight pants.
Ten years later, now 55, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the prices were reasonable, they have a nice wine list and fish is good for your cholesterol.
Ten years later, at 65 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the lighting was good and they have an early bird special.
Ten years later, at 75 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped accessible.
Ten years later, at 85 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed they would meet at Captain Jack's Seafood Grille because they had never been there before.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
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  Quote Bob Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jun 2012 at 8:25am
I've run into that type situation - noticed mostly about DVD movies.  Hey!  That's a good thing ... I never run out of something good to put in my queue to watch.  Ermm
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  Quote Karl_db Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 03 Jun 2012 at 2:54pm
I suspect my brother sent me that because he knows I've always been a tad forgetful. LOL
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
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  Quote Randy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Jun 2012 at 6:03am
LOL!  My forgetfulness has become legendary in my family.
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